Adversity (Interview)
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An Inspirational Conversation
On Substack, I enjoy reading many interesting newsletters. One in particular that I find really inspiring is Hello Adversity by
.Chris lives with a rare muscle disease called limb-girdle muscular dystrophy 2B, which began when he was 21. This experience motivated him to begin Hello, Adversity, as a way to share with others everything he’s learned about how to navigate tough times.
I find his insights practical and inspiring. I find him inspiring. I think there’s a lot that humans and business owners can learn from Chris.
I had a brief conversation with him and wanted to share it with my audience.
JF: In your articles about dealing with adversity, you repeatedly mention ‘asking for help’ as one of the most important things someone can do. Why do you think asking for help is so difficult for people? How transformative can it actually be for humans/business-owners once they do ask for help?
CA: There are many reasons asking for help is so difficult. Although the reasons are unique for each person, common themes include pride, shame, the fear of being vulnerable, and the fear of getting hurt, to name a few.
Pride strikes when you have to face the reality that you don’t have all the answers.
Shame happens when you messed up and need help to clean up your mistakes.
Vulnerability is difficult when you’ve never opened yourself up to others before and are not used to admitting your insecurities and weaknesses.
The fear of getting hurt arises when you’re not sure how your request for help will be received. If someone rejects you, that can cause even deeper pain than you’re already in.
And some people recognize they need help, but don’t know how to make the ask, or can’t articulate how they need help.
It’s definitely a hard process. I still struggle with it, and I need to ask for help all the time, given the progression of my condition. But although it’s hard, it’s not something to fear.
If you can summon the courage (and it takes courage) to ask for help, you are already ahead of the game. If five business owners have the same problem but only one asks for help to solve it, that one business owner is at a distinct advantage.
Best of all, asking for help is asserting your independence. You identified something you can’t do on your own and are proactively calling in resources to help you achieve a goal (whether a business goal or emotional support). You took the step; no one forced you to.
JF: You’ve done a great job of addressing an elephant in the room: life is suffering. A lot of people maybe don’t think it should be hell (even though it is). How do you personally appraise adversity's presence in life?
CA: In the years after my rare disease diagnosis at age 21, I’ve had to confront a humbling truth: adversity is unavoidable. No matter how cautious and responsible we are, no matter how great our plans, something bad will happen at some point.
Thinking it’s “unfair” comes from the belief that we deserve a life free from pain and suffering, but all that means is we’re railing against the very essence of life itself. Some outcomes are worse than others, yes, but almost everyone experiences life catastrophes, even if the situation is different for each person (grief, disease diagnosis, financial ruin, etc.). Adversity hurts, but we’re all on a level playing field in that no one can escape it. In that way, it’s quite “fair”.
That doesn’t mean we have to enjoy the bad things that happen to us, but when we finally accept that adversity is a fact of life, we can start to build the skills necessary to respond to it.
That’s why I started Hello, Adversity – to help people recognize the inevitability of adversity, and learn tools and strategies for dealing with it effectively. Because as awful as adversity is, there are ways we can use it to our advantage, whether it’s learning how to become more resilient, spotting opportunities in disaster, sharing our story, growing closer with friends and loved ones, or something else.
JF: When entrepreneurs run their own business, they're faced with a particularly specific source of adversity - uncertainty. Based on what you've experienced/learned, how can we overcome or deal with this?
Uncertainty is hard! But just like with adversity, it can’t be avoided in life. We don’t know how the future will go, no matter how confident we are in our predictions. So, the first step is to accept that uncertainty, as unsettling as it is, is an inevitable part of the process of running a business.
To minimize the impact of uncertainty, or put themselves in the best position to succeed, entrepreneurs can do a few things:
Think through worst-case scenarios: Actively try to think of ways things could go south. From there, develop contingency plans to deal with different situations, should the worst happen. Also make sure you have a cash buffer should business dry up for a period. No plan will be perfect, but that’s okay. It’s still better than no plan.
Review your plans regularly: Don’t be wedded to a particular course of action forever. Every few weeks or months, assess how things are going, and if you need to adapt to the business environment. Flexibility is your friend. So is self-awareness.
Stay informed: Learn new business skills, read up on trends, have conversations with peers, etc. You never know what piece of information might turbocharge your success.
Ask for help: We covered this before, but if you’re struggling with a particular business problem, seek advice from a mentor or someone who’s been through it.
Don’t fear failure: The goal is obviously not to fail, but it’s also important to see failure as what it is – a setback. It’s not the end of the world. So many successful entrepreneurs have origin stories where they crashed and burned at their first business. It’s important to avoid failure, yes, but it shouldn’t become a boogeyman. Sometimes, a fear of failure actually leads to failure by making us too risk-averse.
👋 for now, and keep an eye out for an email next week!
Best,
Jeffrey
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